Why I can't go to the olympics

Seems kinda hollow now, doesn't it?

Now we know why some of those hotel rooms remain unfilled, and after this latest announcement circulates a bit I'm thinking there may be some last minute airfare and hotel room sales for the big sports show coming up in August.

You see, on Monday those happy and carefree Chinese released a 9-page document that lays out their expectations of foreign visitors. Basic message is: they're not putting up with your sh&t.

So, getting right to it, here's what you can't do:

1. You can't sleep outside (so be sure and book that hotel room in advance if you go!)
2. You can't stage a protest without government permission (I'd rather bet on a snowstorm in hell then that happening)
3. If you have a contagious condition or a mental disease you cannot go
4. Sorry folks, but Tibet is closed, if you want to visit a rural area of China, you only get 72 hours to do so.
5. Staying with a local resident? Well, they - and you - have to register with the local police department within 24 hours of your arrival.
   
6. Got tickets? Well, that's no guarantee you'll get your visa to actually use them. (so, you may want to get your visa first - and check for fire sales on eBay for those who have tickets but couldn't get a visa)
   
7. No insulting slogans or banners are allowed at the sporting events. (Meaning my "Suck it Roger Federer" banner will have to wait until the US Open to be displayed. Oh I'm just kidding, I love Roger Federer but he wins too much!)
8. You can't display a religious or political banners (what about a "Reverend Wright for President" banner?)
9. No drug traffickers and no prostitutes allowed into the country (okay...so tell me, how many drug traffickers and prostitutes actually list those occupations on their visa applications? Just saying...)
   

Aw heck, who the heck cares about free speech anyways? On the upside, supposedly you can bring your pet (but just one pet!). Oh yeah!

Troublemakers who refuse to comply are subject to administrative punishments or criminal prosecution. Ironically, the released appeared under the official Beijing Olympics slogan: "One World, One Dream." Hmmm, maybe that slogan be renamed to "Our World, No Dreams Allowed."

I don't know about you, but now I'm even less psyched for the upcoming games now. China reminds you that "not all of China is open to foreigners, and they shall not go to any venue not open to them."

Now that's the Olympic spirit.

Stern rules for foreigners at the olympics [SI.com]